My Day at Neverland

On Monday April 4 2005, my dream cam true and I spent a magical few hours inside Neverland with Michael and his beautiful family. It was the Day Of The Roses of Love Project.

This was a project organised by fans in Santa Maria as a way of showing Michael that the whole world was supporting him, not just the ones who were acatually in Santa Maria.

A paypal account was created and fans around the world sent money to buy a Rose for Michael.

On The day, there were seven huge baskets of roses as well as individual flowers.

Michael was soo overwhelmed by the gifts of the roses, that he invited all the fans there that day, about 60 of us, to spend some time with him in his home.

It was totally unexpected, totally unplanned and totally magical.

It was the most amazing experience of my life. All we wanted to do was to make Michael smile, and feel the support of the fans around the world and we got something so precious in return.

Being at Neverland that day, being welcomed by Michael into his home, is something I will never forget.

After Micheal had been presented with the roses at the main gate and gone into Neverland, we were all just in a group outside the main gates. Every was soo happy and it was such a lovely atmosphere.

Then the unexpected happened. Securiity were talking in a group and then they opened the gates and came out to talk to us. Every one was surprised and didnt know what was going on. The guard said that no one was to leave yet as there was something else. We just were in shock, what else could happen. Then he got a call on the radio and told everyone to be quite as he had something to tell us. My heart was just beating soo fast, what was he going to tell us. When it was finally quite, he said that we were all being invited inside, and to go back to our cars and to drive inside to the main carpark.

OOOOOOOMGGGGGGGG everyone just started screaming and crying. I just stood there in shock, shaking with tears rolling down my face. I just remember hugging my friend soo tightly, while both of us were crying. Everyone was crying, mothers with young children, even all the guys, it was just soo overwhelming, the shock, the joy, the excitement, the unbelievableness of it, the fact that we had all dremed of being inside but never dared hope it would happen to us.

It took us about 10 minutes, maybe more, to compose ourselves and move away from the gates back to our cars.

Going though those brown gates, and actaully into the property, seeing for the first time what is not visable from the main entrance, is something indescribable.

My heart was beating soo soo fast but at the same time, I tried to remain calm, to really take in everything and try to remember as much as I could.

CAMP MICHAEL JACKSON
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TwGQ3ASQ9Ck

oh god, sitting here with tears rolling down my face... the memories just flooding back... I met all those fans, some I am still in contact with...

its all in my head, everything you see, the screams, the joy, the heartache....

OMMMGGGGG thats me at 2.01 at the fan convention

I remember the unbelievable emotions at hearing Michael on the telephone, talking to us. That was on Saturday 2 April 2005

At 3.57, thats me, dressed in white , wearing a fedora, with a green flag (Irish Flag) wrapped around me, taking a photo of the roses.

The girl at 4.10, putting up the banner is one of my closest friends.

Thats me again at 4.21

and at 6.31 to 6.53 thats my reaction to the inviation into Neverland

A very Special person

ok, this is something thats not easy for me to write but cos of all the hoax sites and posts on forums etc I thought it was time to share with you all something which I rarely speak about.

As many of you know Ive travelled alot to see Michael and been close to him many times. There is one thing about being close to Michael and meeting him that most fans rarely talk about, and that is his aura. Ok you might think Ive lost the plot, but just read the rest of what I have to say.

There was something magical about Michael, something unexplainable. Whenever you were close to him, you could feel his presence. The first time I was close to him, looked into his eyes, I just felt this amazing air of peacefulness and innocence.

Everyone felt it, this magic in the air. It was how we always just knew whenever we heard " Michael is in London" whether it was just or rumour or whether he was really here.

The same at Neverland. Even when he was not living there, there was still magic in the air.

Even if he hadnt been spotted in a few weeks, like when he was hiding in Behrain, or in Ireland, I could still feel that he was somewhere on this earth.

On the 25th June, I knew something was wrong as soon as I got the text. And as the minutes went by and I heard that he was at the hospital, I could feel the magic disapearing. It was like a vacum, sucking the air out, sucking out Michaels magical air from this world.

Thats how I know he is not alive, his aura is not on earth any more.

When we back to Neverland in July, everyone could feel the difference in the air. A fan who I had never spoken to before, but who recognised me, told me "the magic is gone from the air at Neverland"

The last time we felt the magic, that something different in the air, was inside Staples Centre at the Memorial.

My Day at Court Nov21 pt3

Part 3

John Joseph Barnes Jr is a music producer and C.E.O of INNER SOUND Inc California

He has worked for Michael since 1983

He was recommended by Jermaine and asked by Micheal to come to Bahrain and work on The Katrina song. Before he left California Michael asked him to make an inventory of recordings stored in a warehouse, with a view to shipping them to Bahrain.

According to his witness statement as of 2 July 2008 is is still the HEAD OF CREATIVE AT 2 SEA'S

Asked what the non exsistant company of 2 Seas's has done since June 2006, when Michael left Bahrain he answered

- developed writers in LA

- inventoried previous recordings

- preparing to release new products in 2009

Under further questioning it was revealed he was actully emplyed by the Sheik

ENGLEHART " Are you telling us there is no comapy called 2 sea's? "

BARNES " Im not involved in legal matters"

Some interesting info

David Foster wrote the music for the Katrina song, which was never refered to by name, only as "the Katrina song"

The questioning then turned to the expenses involved in the Katrina project and list of payments was discussed. It came out that INNER SOUND was paid a large sum of money but there are no invoices to show exactly what this money was used for.

Oh and guess what, it came out though questioning that ..... John Barnes brother is the Sheiks US lawyer and has also been attening this case!!

There was also a descrepency about the vocal that Michael had recorded for the song. The Sheik was telling the world that Michael sounded brillant, when in actual fact John Barnes who has worked for Michael for over 20 years and has heard him sing more times than anyone in this court thought Michael's voice was at that time only 65% to 70% of the force it usully is

His current position is that he is still employed by the Sheik and that the recording studio is still in use and that he has high hopes for many things from there in the future.

that was the end of his testimony

Just before the Judge left he asked the lawyers for a copy of Guy Holmes passport

My Day at Court nov 21 2008 pt2

MY DAY AT COURT PART 2

Next up was Mark Stewart

He is a personal friend of the Sheik and is the film maker who was making the Katrina video.

According to him, the Sheik arranged for the hire of the recording studio in London and for every one involved, artists, studio crew etc to stay at The Dorchester Hotel

Very little footage was filmed. He was paid $300 thousand and he said this was a very realitic figure, considering the amount, and quality of the equipment and experience of the camera cre used

He was the one who introduced Guy Holmes to the Sheik as he knew Guy Holmes was very experienced in the entertainment industy and he wanted the Sheik to talk to someone who knows the industry.

Michael wanted to be very involved with the filming

MARK STEWART " Michael said " I'll be over your shoulder telling you what I want"."

When asked why there was soo little footage, he blamed Michael. He said that Micheal either didnt turn up to the studio when he was supposed to or when he did turn up didnt want to be filmed that day.

Im sorry this one is so short, I think I must have lost concentration for a bit. Thats all the notes I have.

Next up is John Joseph Barnes Jr

My Day at Court Nov 21 2008 pt1

Back in November 2008, Michael was taken to court in London by the Sheik of Bahrain and I was able to go and sit in the public gallery and observe the proceedings

MY DAY AT COURT

Just back from The Royal Courts of Justice and trying to make sense of my notes. I apologise in advance if some things dont make sense, as I was trying to follow what was being said and write at the same time.

Anything in BOLD are direct quotes from either the lawers, judge or witness's. Every thing else is sumerised from my notes

I had planned to go to the entire day but could only go to the afternoon session.

When I entered the court just before 2 pm, Guy Holmes was sitting in the witness box, and when the court resumed they continued with his testomy from the morning.

During the morning session Guy Holmes diary was being used as evidence and Michael's lawyer Robert Englehart continued questioning Guy about this.

Then the questioning turned to THE COMBINED RIGHTS AGREEMENT.

GUY HOLMES Once I joined 2 SEA'S Im learned about a written agreement called The Combined Rights Agreement" He is certain he say this agreement, which had Michael's signature on it, but not the Sheiks. He said he believed it was a finished document. When asked by by Englehart, does Michael have a copy, do you have a copy, does the Sheik have a copy, he answered no to all.

After further questioning it comes to light that the document Guy Holmes saw was a draft. He apparently sent this draft to Michael's residence in Bahrain by courier but there is no record of this as he dosnt have a receipt.

By this stage Guy Holmes was getting a bit rattled and flustered by the questioning. Englehart then started breaking down what Michael was expected to do under the terms of the agreement. This included him being tied to 2 SEAS for 6 years during which time he would record an album, write an autobiography and produce a stage play.

Further questioning about the "draft" that was supposedly sent to Michael for him to sign. It was sent to him with no cover letter and even though it was a draft of a contract written up under English Law, no one familar with English Law actully went though it with him.

Guy Holmes also helped organise the phographer who took the photo of Michael signing the contact with the Sheik. Under questioning it come out that Michael thought this photo was just for show as he hadnt actully signed a proper contract but the Sheik wanted the world to think Michael had actully signed to 2 SEAS.

Then the questioning turned to how the figure of 7 million was calculated. It was a guestimate of apporox how much had been spend at that stage during one of their meetings. Guy Holmes first suggested 5 million but between Michael , the Sheik and Guy, they all agreed on 7 million.

GUY HOLMES "I learned some days after the Agreement was signed that it was not an incorperated company"

GUY HOLMES "Michael had no interest in the coperate structure of the company and only talked about his music and vision, he trusted the Sheik and Guy to look after things and make sure everything was ok"

After Michael signed this agreement there was still work to do with this company, settling the structure. Guy Holmes was under the impression that the company was formed, was told by the Sheik it was but in actul fact the comapany didnt exsist and never has.

JUDGE SWEENEY " Did you tell Michael Jackson he had signed a contract with a company that didnt exsist"

GUY HOLMES " No"

Then the questioning turned to the fact the for a time Guy Holmes was Michael's manager and what other things he took care of.

Guy Holmes explained that when he took over as Michael's manager, his buisness affairs where in chaos.
There were 27 major litagation case's, about 20 million in unsecured debt, deposions that Michael had to give, Judges passing orders that Michael need to be present at, possible bankrupcy, too many things to remember off hand. He said as soon as word got out that he was Michael's manager, that his phone never stopped with people trying to contact Michael.

During his time as Michael's manager he went to Vegas and met with the Circ du Soli people with a view of Michael working with them to put on a show somewhere. He also met up with J. K Rowlings agent and heads of record companies.

After a few more questions he finished his testomony. Before he left the witness stand, Judge Sweeny asked his for a copy of his passport to verify his dates of travel to Bahrain and Vegas. Guy Holmes said that that was not possible as he had a new passport and didnt keep the old one.

Ok thats the end of the first part, next up is Mark Stewart

Farther Along

Farther Along
Words and Music by J.R.Baxter and W.B.Stevens
© 1937 Stamps-Baxter Music
Tempted and tried, we're oft made to wonderWhy it should be thus all the day long,While there are others living about us,Never molested, though in the wrong.

Refrain
Farther along we'll know all about it,
Farther along we'll understand why;
Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine,
We'll understand it all by and by.

When death has come and taken our loved ones,
It leaves our home so lonely and drear,
Then do we wonder why others prosper
Living so wicked year after year.

Refrain
Farther along we'll know all about it,
Farther along we'll understand why;
Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine,
We'll understand it all by and by.

Faithful til death, said our loving Master
A few more days to labor and wait,
Toils of the road will then seem as nothing
As we sweep through the beautiful gate.

Refrain
Farther along we'll know all about it,
Farther along we'll understand why;
Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine,
We'll understand it all by and by.

When we see Jesus, coming in glory,
When He comes from His home in the sky,
Then we shall meet Him in that bright mansion,
We'll understand it all by and by.

Refrain
Farther along we'll know all about it,
Farther along we'll understand why;
Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine,
We'll understand it all by and by.

dreaming of you

just woke up, this might not make sense.....

at hotel, sooo many fans, international fans and Uk fans, faces from the past and present..... everyone happy and excited, waiting for Michael...... buzz of laughter, chants...... the side door opens, Michael comes out riding a bicycle.... everyone is stunned.... no one moves, make a space to let him through..... he rides away, off down the road.... everyone stays at the hotel waving goodbye..... when he is gone, everyone starts saying goodbye, hugging each other.......

I just want you to know who I am......

IRIS by The GOO GOO DOLLS

Verse 1

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
Verse 2

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
Chorus

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Verse 3

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

Chorus

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Chorus

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

why?

If June 25 hadnt happened and Michael came to London and the concerts went ahead, would you have joined this site? Would you have just contined as you were? Would you be as active in the fan community as you are now? Would you have felt the need to connect with fans around the world? Why did it have to take losing Michael for you to come here?

I try to understand, but sometimes it hurts too much....
I know what its like to have no one in real life understand, for over 10 years, no one I knew in real life understand my love for Michael, so most of the time I kept it inside, I was that weird child at school sat alone who no one talked to, I was that lonely child day fater day alone listening to Michael...
I grew up watching the concerts and behind the scenes documentries, seeing the fans be with Michael, wishing deep in my soul I could be there too, wanting with all my heart to be around people like me.....

back then all we had were fan magazines, I can still remember the most amazing feeling of finding a fan magazine in my local shop, and all I ever wanted to do was talk to real fans like me....
Thats whats soo wonderful about the internet, all the fan sites and forums, and the knowledge that you can talk to others out there like you....

Thats what hurts soo much, the fact that for over 10 years, since the interent started, there have been fan sites and forums, that fans have built communites and stood shoulder to shoulder in the pure magic of times like History tour and the MSG concerts and in the darkest times like in 2004 and 2005.

It hurts soo much, you can not even grasp, that it took losing Michael, for soo many to find the fan communites.....

Back in August 2007, a UK fan site organised a fan event in a large venue in central London, appros 1,000 people capacity. Navi and many other MJ performers were there, yet they barely sold 200 tickets and the next year in 2008, they held the same event in a suburb of London, in a pub which a capaicty for 100 people! Yet in January 2010, the first MJ event since losing Michael, over 1,000 people attend an event at The O2!!

In Limbo....

am I the only one still in deep depression and grief?? am I the only one not healing?? am I the only one not coming to terms with whats happened??? It feels like the majority of fans have healed, have moved on, are done with grieving..... it seems like the general feeling is now, Michael is gone, lets celebrate his legacy.... I cant, whats there to celebrate.... dont you get it.... hes gone...... the excitement over the film...... it should be excitement about seeing it in real life, not on a cinema screen.....

The Last Day

Sunday March 8 2009

Last night at the hotel we heard rumours that Michael would be leaving early the next morning, so we decide to get up early and head out. Me and EM, who was staying in my flat get to the hotel about 8am. We do a circuit of the building and are kinda surprised to find no other fans there. We come back to the back entrance of the hotel and stand at the corner, just underneath Michaels windows. We notice a car parked beside the hotel and wonder who it is. After awhile, a guy gets out of the car and comes over to us. Its a PAP, who has been tipped off by hotel secuirty that Michael would be leaving around 10am. Well as soon as we heard that, both me and EM get on our phones, texting and calling as many fans as we could, to get here NOW.

By 9.30am, we managed to get around 15 fans there,not bad for 1 hours notice . By this stage Michaels big white car had appeared at the hotel entrance, and we all took up positions along the barriers. It was a really sunny morning, cool, but not cold and the atmosphere among the fans was soo nice. We all knew each other, everyone was happy if majorily tired, we were talking about concert tickets and making plans for the summer.

I noticed the way the car was parked and that when the door was opened that it would be very close to the hotel building, so I managed to get a spot at the barrier which was directly in front of the car door. This ment that I was at the very end of the barrier, with the building wall on my left. The other fans were further along the barrier, not near me, and so one of the PAPS stood in the space beside me on my right.

At about 10.15am, the hotel door opened and security came out and put some hand luggage bags into the car and the driver got in and started the engines.

At around 10.30, the driver opened the passenger doors of the car, and Michael and his children walked out of the hotel. I was directly in front of Michael, screaming his name and waving a card,trying to get him to come over to the barriers to us. He looked right at me, smiled and started to come over, but then he saw the PAPS and changed his mind. He instead stood up on the car door frame, waving and blowing kisses to us.

The he got into the car and closed the doors. Almost immediatly, he opened the window where he was sitting in the car, and as the car started moving out of the car park, we were able to walk with the car, "posting" our letters and cards though the window to him, and telling him "goodbye" and "see you in July" and "have a safe journey". The car turned out of the hotel property and into the London traffic. I just stood there, waving and blowing kisses until I couldnt see the car anymore.

That was the last time I ever saw him, 10.45am, Sunday 8 March 2009..........

feels soo long ago... did it really happen.... how can it be.....

I cant bear this... it cant be real... please someone tell me its just a nightmare... I cant take this pain, this blackness, this emptyness.... please someone tell me he is still on this earth somewhere...... it hurts too much.... I need it to end....

did it really happen to me... a lonely child, with no friends... from an crime stricken, poverty trap of a suburb......did I really get close to the most famous person who ever lived... did he really recognise me... was I really in his house.... how did I go from watching him on tv to having him look into my eyes and hold my hand.... would any one believe my stories.... was it all a dream.....

Wednesday 4th March 2009, Michael in London

ok, wasnt going to do this, but its all just in my head, might not make much sense........

at work all day, getting text up dates from fans..... Michael arrives in London.... checks into Lanesborough Hotel..... security come out and thank fans for being there and says that Michael is resting after a long journey..... finally leave work, get to hotel at nearly 9pm....pouring with rain..... fans like drowned rats under arch...... everyone excited about tomorrow, no one has a clue whats going on.... meet up with elusive moonwalker...... go back to flat to get some sleep.......

A time line of info, one year ago it all began....Michael in London and what happened next

This is a post of mine, from http://www.maximum-jackson.com/discussion from last year, a time line of events......

Monday 2 March 2009
Christian Audigier speaks to paps outside Mr Chows Restaurant in LA and says Michael is going to London Tuesday 3 March for a press conference on Thursday 5 March
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2m-V-nqFyE

Wednesday 4 March
Michael arrives in London, and checks into The Lanesborough Hotel, Hyde Park Corner

Thursday 5 March

Michael announce 10 concerts in July 2009 at The O2 London
http://www.maximum-jackson.com/discu...ead.php?t=7474

Friday 6 March

Michael goes to OLIVER at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, with his children and Mark Lester and his family

Sunday 8 March

Michael leaves London

Wednesday 11 March
Presale tickets go onsale, 10 shows sell out, more dates though august, september and into 2010 are announced

Friday 13 March
General sale of tickets, final 5 dates announced bringing the total to 50

Randy Phillips CEO of AEG live speaks to SKY NEWS
http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/vid...tegory=UK+News

Wednesday 18 March
fan interview with Jennifer Batten where she says that she hasnt been contacted yet but that Kenny Ortaga has been contacted by Michael
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgMP5HyLsoU

Friday 27 March
Michael is spotted leaving a dance studio with Travis Payne
http://www.maximum-jackson.com/discu...ead.php?t=8151

Sunday 5 April
Akon and DJ Benny tour schedule changed, announce on their website they are now performing with Michael
http://www.djbennydfansite.tv/tour-dates/

Monday 13 April
reports start circulating on TWITTER from dancers in LA going to auditions for Michael shows

https://twitter.com/thetwinz

http://twitter.com/ERYNNJOI

http://twitter.com/dannydavalos

http://twitter.com/MrMarkSamuels

http://twitter.com/Islarose87

http://twitter.com/charamonanjaya

http://twitter.com/msvictoria

Wednesday 15 April
blog from a dancer about auditioning for Michael
http://victoriaparsons.blogspot.com/

thanks to Marni, Damian, and all the other fans from maximum jackson who have been busy hunting for info online.

So far we can see that Michael first contacted Kenny Ortaga and Travis Payne. Together they must have finalised the set list and choroagraphy and decided how many dancers and what styles were needed.

Then they went about setting up the auditions and putting the word out amoung the dance community.

This week they held the auditions and finalised exactly which dancers they would be working with.

Probally now Travis Payne will start breaking down the setlist into choroagraphy sections, and full time dance rehearsals will start.

This leaves Michael free to work on other aspects of the show

Monday 20 April
Rehearsals start in an airport hanger in LA
http://www.thewrap.com/article/2570
(thanks to AAA http://www.maximum-jackson.com/discu...ead.php?t=8714)

Wednesday 22 April
Names of the dancers selected
Tyne Stecklein
Dres Reid
Misha
Nick Bass
Antonio Hudnell
Devon Jamison
http://twitter.com/DanceMillennium/status/1586007486 (thanks to Tara)

Last visit to the MJ exhibition at The O2 London

ok, its Tuesday and its only now that I can write about this. I was THE LAST PERSON to leave the exhibition on Sunday night.

I went with a friend and we went into the exhibition around 5.30pm. We went through it once, taking our time. There wasn't that many people there so I was able to read every tiny bit of information and examine every thing in detail, more than I had on my previous visits, (this was my 5th visit) The atmosphere was very quiet, unlike other times, when there was a background of people chatting and excited children, this time, you could feel the sadness and grief in the air.

After going though the entire exhibition together, we doubled back and separated, each of us having some quiet time to take in all that we were seeing and experiencing.

I went back to the Neverland room, and sat in a corner, near the entrance, facing the arch. All I could think about was that day back in April 2005. I could see Michael, still wearing the clothes from the court, looking soo soo happy, I could feel the magic and happiness of the real Neverland, where for a few hours we escaped the reality of why we were in Santa Maria.

Just like back then, being in the Neverland room at the exhibition, helped me escape for a while the reality of June 25.

All too soon it was time to leave. The security guards came over and said they were closing now. As soon as I walked though the arch one last time, the tears started flowing. I just wanted to stay forever. As I looked back one last time, all I could hear in my heard was the echo of his laughter from that day in 2005............

At the very end of the exhibition, we were the last ones writing in the books. My friend was still writing as the security were turning off the video and the main lights. They were very nice and didn't hurry us, waiting patiently in near darkness for us. As soon as we finished writing, the manager came over and gathered up all the books, which were being shipped directly to the Jackson family first thing Monday morning.

We still manged to spend money in the shop, as the staff were very nice and didn't rush us. I think they were surprised at how emotional we all were, we were not the only fans there and everyone was crying as they were leaving.

The exhibition is going to Tokyo in Japan next, opening sometime in May, for approx the same amount of time 5 or 6 months.