Why You Wanna Trip On Me

yes my views about fans who became active after June 2009 are well known, no they haven't changed.

yes its well known that I don't personally support posthumous products or releases, no this has not changed

yes it is well known that I have no time for Taaj Malik, no this has not changed

yes I am a bitch, I am out spoken, yes many people have issues with what I say or do

yes I know I put peoples backs up, yes many who I considered friends I am no longer in contact with

yes I am black listed from major fan sites

I don't care what is said about me, since 2009 many people have been very vocal about their issues with me, there are tons of stuff written about me.

one thing I don't do is get personal with people in public. Yes I can be sarcastic, blunt and very outspoken, but at the same time, I do not make peoples personal private information public. If I get into an argument with someone, it will be about that particular Michael Jackson issue. I do not bring personal information about the person I am arguing with into the conversation. I respect peoples privacy and that the fact that they might want not certain private information splashed all over the place.

Unfortunately the same can not be said about other people. I do not understand why when the argument or discussion pertains to something related to Michael Jackson or the fan community, people feel the need to use private personal information about me.

Why fling my personal private life which I do not talk about in public into a discussion which relates to Michael Jackson and the fan community? It is not right and it shows that you really never understood me or valued the friendship we may have had. Its the lowest of the low to use private personal information not related to the original topic just to hurt the other person because you know you can.

yes I had personal issues which compounded my grief for Michael in 2009 and 2010. Those personal issues are ongoing and have hugely effected my personal life, so much so that I had to leave London and move back to Ireland.

Yes in 2009 and 2010 I had huge anger, grief and resentment, dealing with my grief for Michael and trying to cope with what was happening in personal life was just too much for me to deal with. My only outlet then and now is the fan community. That huge, anger, grief and resentment is still there but as the months have gone by I have learnt to hide it better.

Since Michael died, I have basically lost my entire life, everything from my job and flat, to friends, social life and a hell of alot more. I have been under huge stress in my personal life, and yes at times I may not have dealt with it the best way and used the fan community and my grief as an outlet.

So yes call me a bitch, call me self centered, call me whatever you damn well like, cos you know what none of it matters. At the end of the day I can shut my laptop and silence you all.

But what I can not silence or remove is my deep gut wrenching grief for Michael, or the huge monumental changes and loss in  my personal private life.